Single man dating married
Is it a myth or can a single man really be just friends with a married woman?
Maybe your best friend has always been a single guy and now that you are married, this affects your relationship with your husband.
She has told me that she knows her real happiness can only be achieved with me. She knows her family (and his) will be devastated and very disappointed in her. A few weeks after this story was posted, we took a trip out of town for a week together. They haven’t completely come around but they are making motions in that direction. We have discussed our intention to marry, but we haven’t firmed up any plans. She has struggled with guilt over how things transpired.
She accepts that her marriage is nothing more than a good friendship and always has been. She acknowledges that she’s lived a majority of her life trying to make other people happy and “do the right thing” and never put her own happiness first. The day we came back home, she told her husband about us and asked him to move to his parents’ house. As expected, she got little support or understanding. They finally admitted that they knew the marriage was in trouble for years despite the calm appearance.
We see each other 4-5 times per week (sometimes more) for a few hours each time. Our emotional connectedness is at an all time high and gets stronger by the day. He is in a new relationship with someone who thought she was too old to find love again. It was a brutal situation that I would not survive again. But as soon as you recognize the situation for what it is, back up.
She has told me that she would rather be with me than him. And she’s struggling with how she can walk in and just destroy his world. It actually amuses me a bit to see such certainty and judgment from some of the commenters who have no idea about the details of my situation. Like Robert Browning’s “The Last Duchess,” the narrative reveals more about the speaker than the “duchess.” Your filters reveal your experiences and biases but have nothing to do with me and my situation. After she’s had a few transitional months to herself, I’ll join her there and our life together will officially begin. Her family is starting to accept the way things are. I’ve been essentially living with her for about 6 months. I totally realize that we went about things entirely the wrong way. However, this may be a case of “all’s well that ends well.” I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. I guess the reason I wrote this in the beginning , and the reason I’ve continued to update it, is that I know I’m not the only one to experience this. Reading some of the comments, I realize that we all have our own filters in place and may be incapable of being objective about any of it.
Granted, she told me a month ago that there had been no desire or intimate activity since she met me. He’s the one driving her to do her shopping and then carrying her bags while she shops. The situation is much more nuanced and sophisticated than it would appear some of the commenters are able to process. Handling an emotionally difficult situation with grace and elegance rather than clumsy self-absorption requires care and precision. In order to come on the other side of the experience with your self-esteem intact and any sense of dignity will require patience and fortitude. Anyone who looks at an affair with a simplistic “black and white” filter is doing a disservice to the human spirit…
We’ve been in counseling both individually and together. Her ex-husband has moved on with a new relationship.
We’re working hard on our foundation so we don’t repeat past mistakes.
The Husband's Point of View Are you a man of the 21st Century? If you are just great friends then what’s the problem?
This one is a tough one, because some men would have absolutely no problem with the fact that their wife has a single guy for a best friend. Can A Single Man Really Just Be Friends With A Married Woman? You should be able to spend time together without it automatically leading to a romantic relationship.