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But I also can see that the entire cause of the pain was not real harm or damage, but rather the expectations that had been ingrained in me.

Those expectations caused both of us an incredible amount of completely unnecessary pain. In marriages where both parties are raised expecting to be each other’s first and they actually are, this pain of unmet expectations will not be felt.

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He had given away a piece of his heart, I believed, and now the heart he would give me was incomplete. My cousin never expected that she would be her husbands’ first. He told me that the pain I felt was based not on actual harm but rather on unmet expectations.And I also concluded that my expectations had been out of whack.As I realized that the idea of giving away pieces of your heart was crap (love is infinite, not finite), that dating can actually be a beneficial way to learn more about yourself and about relationships, and that the emphasis I had been taught to place on physical purity was completely misplaced, my expectations shifted, and as they did, the pain lifted.Dating is a part of human mating process whereby two people meet socially for companionship, beyond the level of friendship, or with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship. I never really understood the difference between love, lust and infatuation. You need to do self-examination and evaluation to discover the reason why you are dating (if you are ready in one) or why you want to engage in dating relationship (if you are thinking about starting one).It is not friendship; neither is it courtship or marriage. Whatever we all do in life, I know quite well that it is influenced or driven by an intention, reason or purpose. My experience while dating is nothing to right about.

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